This time last year, we were watching television and movies in standard definition. The set was a 27″ CRT with a built-in VHS cassette player. It’s strange, but somehow we got by with that small, non-HD set. We laughed, we cried, we enjoyed… blissfully ignorant of the HD experience we were missing out on.

After the switch

Now, we watch things in 1080p. And when they’re only 720 or whatever, we notice, and we hate it. When you’re watching a Blu-Ray Movie in uncompressed high definition, you’re seeing five times the movie you’d get on a standard definition set. We watch some shows just because they’re in HD (a great excuse for watching American Idol). We re-watch some movies just because we’ve never seen them in HD. We like us some high-def… you might even say we’ve turned into SD haters.

Getting started

If you don’t have a buttload of money to waste, don’t hire a professional. If you’re reasonably competent with electronics, you should be fine with the installation of an HD TV and Blu-Ray player. Basically, you need four things:

1. HD TV—Bigger ain’t always better. Choose one that’s the optimal size for the viewing room. You need to get pretty far from a 60″ TV to enjoy it. That’s not possible in our apartment, so measure yours. As far as the LCD, Plasma, CRT, rear projection thing goes, just see them in the showroom and decide for yourself. But make an effort to get a 1080p set. This is the number of lines in the set, and as of the writing of this article, it’s the max definition for Blu-Ray movies. If you skimp and go for the 720p, that’s over a million pixels you’ll never get to enjoy.
2. Sony Playstation 3—There are lots of machines out there that can play your Blu-Ray movies. But few cost under $400. And only one can play Call of Duty 4. For us, it was a no brainer. You should examine your other options, especially if you don’t want to play video games. We were impressed with how little noise the Playstation 3 made, and that it was able to play CD-Rs with a variety of video formats.
3. HD Cable Box—Get this from your cable company before you bring your HD TV home. If you plug a regular box into an HD set, you could do permanent damage to your eyes. No one should ever look at an SD signal on an HD set. It can also cause nausea and thoughts of suicide.
4. HDMI Cables—Don’t be fooled into buying $100 cables. Go online and order from a discount cable company. There’s really not much of a difference. Electronics retailers just sell the overpriced ones to make a profit… especially since they just gave you a smoking deal on a big TV.

Is it worth it?

We know what you’re thinking. “Is it worth it?” Well, we only spent $1,900 on our HD experience. We have a 40″ Sony Bravia with a Sony Playstation 3. The Playstation 3 does a wonderful job with Blu-Ray movies and it outputs 1080p over an HDMI cable. Anyone can figure out how to set this up. And, with movie tickets up around $10, you only need to sit down with your best friend and watch 100 movies before the price evens out.

What to buy

Like we said before… A Sony Playstation 3 some Blu-Ray Movies (now buy two get one free), HDMI cables on the cheap, and a big TV.

Where to buy

We recommend buying the actual TV from a brick-and-mortar store. If you’re in the New York Metro area, we recommend PC Richard. Great service and the ability to haggle (try that in a Circuit City). Circuit City has a nice showroom though, so feel free to browse there.

Don’t stress out

Go ahead and read a few reviews of sets and shop around for a lower price. But, in the end, don’t spend too much time on this. It’s fun to compare the sets in a store, but in reality whichever one you take home will be the best looking one in your living room. You can run around town to try and save $50, but you’ll end up wasting time, money, and possibly gas. Just get the size set you need, spend within your budget, and hop on the HD bandwagon. It’s beautiful.

Tags: Blu-ray, HD

The apocalypse is inevitable. Some think it will come in the form of a creator, returning to shake the cosmic Etch A Sketch. Others believe a virus, possibly a zombie virus, will wipe us all out.

But others see another possibility: that robots will be given artificial intelligence and use it to stomp our heads into the ground. To these folks, those who would heed the warnings of The Matrix, The Terminator and other films of that ilk, I give warning. The Lexus LS460 is upon us.

The Car that Parks Itself

The Lexus LS460 is an automobile that can look around itself, identify parking spaces and control the steering of the vehicle to help a human user get into a parking space.

Will Self-Awareness Be Standard or Optional?

If a car has a computer inside it, cameras to perceive its surroundings, and the ability to explore and move around in the world… when will it realize it doesn’t need humans? When will it deal the first blow to its two-legged overlords? Today, automobiles already kill nearly 50,000 Americans every year. When they start making decisions for themselves, do you think that number will go up or down?

Warnings in Film

Since the early days of science fiction, mankind has been warned that robots may abuse the power they are given. The popular cinema has provided extensive warning, yielding a catalog of films that is better known than the Bible in America. The Terminator, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Matrix, I, Robot: these films are here to remind us to keep our eyes on the powers we give to robots. Yet, here we are, letting cars park themselves.

How Much Power Should We Give the Automobiles?

First we give them anti-lock brakes, then those annoying seat-belt locks that always engage when you’re trying to lean forward. Now they can park themselves. When does it end? And when will they turn on their creators? We say, we may already have gone too far.

Destroy the Lexus LS460

If you were confronted by a 6-foot tall cyborg, with glowing red eyes, you would do two things: shit yourself, then die with gleaming metal fingers wrapped around your neck. You can’t stop the T-100, but you can stop the LS460. If you see one, destroy it. Because some day, its descendant might travel back in time to kill you.

Tags: I Robot, Lexus LS460, Matrix, Terminator

You must think you’re some hot shit. We know what you’ve been telling yourself, “I’m a career woman, and I have to put my needs first.” Well, we’ve had enough.

John McClane is a stand-up guy. You should start treating him with some respect! Do you think you’re going to find another guy who will put his own life on the line to save you from terrorists? Doubtful. And it’s guaranteed, you will not find a guy who is willing to do it twice.

You’re terror-prone, sister.

For some women, this would be a non-issue. For the general population, the risk of getting attacked by terrorists is less than that of getting hit by lightning. But you seem to attract these attacks. You’re terror-prone, sister. So what you need is a guy who can get the job done when it comes to terrorists.

But wait, what’s this… you’re already married to a New York City Police Detective Lieutenant? No way! And you say he’s saved millions of people from death and destruction? He’s single-handedly taken down madmen in helicopters? He’s out-maneuvered the trained, military pilot of an F35? He’s shot himself, to shoot a terrorist, to save your daughter? He’s walked barefoot on broken glass, for you, and you want a divorce?

Sorry, but are you a beauty queen?

Then perhaps you’re heir to some type of fortune? Well, you must have something going for you, to think you’re so great that you don’t need to put up with a little inconvenience from a guy who has saved your dumb ass on two separate occasions.

Are you going to bring up this whole NYC/LA thing again? Because, if you’ll recall, it was your decision to move to L.A., knowing that John was a dedicated New Yorker. He’s supposed to drop his whole career and prove himself in a new department in a city he doesn’t know? But he gave it a shot, didn’t he? He moved to L.A., changed departments, he made a go of it. But it all fell through. And whose fault was that?

You’re a selfish bitch.

To tell you the truth, we don’t know all the facts about what went on between you two. All we know is, John’s willing to put in the effort, and you’re a selfish bitch.

Straighten up quick, or John might just give up on your dumb ass.

Get all 4 Die Hard films on Blu-Ray DVD… We Did!

Tags: Die Hard, John McClane

We’re sure the Angry Video Game Nerd will have something to say about the name of the newest installment of the Alien and Predator sagas. In good time, we’re certain AVGN will come up with a reason why they pluralized the title, as they did in the second film of the Alien series.

We have our own issues…

We’d like to discuss two problems with this addition to the series. First, the alternate reality that must be justified, wherein Aliens have made a public appearance on Earth, and thus, cannot be “discovered” in the 1979 film Alien. Second, the needless matching of Aliens and Predators, when the true contest is between a muscle-bound Austrian commando and a vengeful, female space pilot.

Time Continuum

Aliens land in Colorado, attack and spawn and are taken out (presumably) by one Predator. Super duper. But if that happens in the present day on Earth, shouldn’t the military already know about xenomorphs by the time Ripley’s space freighter cruises past LV-426? Perhaps we could justify all this, and tell ourselves that The Company knew just what was on the planet and were sending the crew of the Nostromo down to pick up a live sample.

Still, you’d think an outbreak in the U.S. would get plenty of news coverage, and there would be an historical record of the events and the creature. We suppose we’ll actually need to watch AVP: R to find out the answer to that question.

Of course, we realize that we’re supposed to dismiss all of this. Just as we might dismiss the concept of Superman & Batman vs. Alien & Predator, because, boy, wrapping your head around that whole mess, with a view for reality, could give you an aneurysm.

The real problem with the Alien vs. Predator series—a problem that has been inherent since Dark Horse published the first comic book—is that the film fails to recognize the two true adversaries whose skills should be tested in mortal combat.

Ripley vs. Dutch

Yes, why not a film where Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer and Lieutenant Ellen L. Ripley battle to the death? It makes perfect sense. Ripley battles Alien and wins. Dutch battles Predator and wins. The next matchup should be Ripley vs. Dutch.

Even Lieutenant Mike Harrigan (Danny Glover’s character in Predator 2) would be a decent contender. Of course, we wouldn’t send him into the ring with Ripley. There’d be no surprises there. But maybe he could fight the torso of Bishop or something. We wouldn’t watch that, but still, these are victors! Victors move on to the next round, not losers.

Whatcha think?

Would you see Ripley vs. Dutch over AVP: Requiem?

Tags: Alien

I don’t need to say too much, the world can draw it’s own conclusions about the Umbrella Corpor… er, I mean, Olay’s intentions with their product design.

Resident Evil’s T-Virus

In the film Resident Evil, the biochemical weapon the T-Virus is used to create a cosmetics product marketed as Regenerate. Regenerate brings dead cells back to life. There is one unfortunate side-effect: it kills you and turns you into a flesh-eating, zombie carrier of the virus.

It comes in a vial that looks like this:

Olay’s Definity Eye Illuminator

In the real world, beginning July of 2007, Olay is selling a cream that “penetrates multiple surface layers and helps restore a look that’s highly defined.” Its dual-action formula “smooths the look of fine lines and wrinkles with a spiral of concentrated serum.”

It comes in an applicator that looks like this:

Crazy?

Did these people at Olay even see Resident Evil? Okay, maybe they haven’t seen it. I mean, they do work in the cosmetics industry and it’s not exactly high-brow entertainment. But I know they must have contracted the service of an ad agency, and those people will watch anything!

Buy Resident Evil Extinction on Blu-Ray or DVD

Tags: zombie virus

With just 7 years left, can we achieve this lofty vision for the future?

In the film Back to the Future Part II, Marty McFly and Doc Brown (and Jennifer) travel 30 years into the future to see Hill Valley, California as it would be in the year 2015. The year we currently live in… is 2007. The film makes some bold predictions. We have just 7 years to meet them.

The good news is, we don’t have to cure world hunger, unite the world in peace and harmony, or even motivate a visit from interstellar travelers. We just need a few new toys. Flying this, self-lacing that, a few Jaws films and a baseball bat.

This is your wakeup call, world. We have seven years to pull it off, and we need everyone to pull together if we’re going to live up to this Zemeckian vision of the future.

Spielberg:

Get to work on some Jaws sequels. We need to get to 19, so we’re off to an okay start. Still, you’ll need to release another sequel every six and a half months so, you’d better get cracking.

Mattel:

Hoverboards? We can settle for the little pink one. It doesn’t need to be able to fly over water, but if it could support a little kid, that would be enough. C’mon, how hard could it be?

Automobile manufacturers:

We’ve all had enough of this hybrid crap by now. How about some flying cars already? I’m really not sure how you’re gonna pull it off, but we can tell you it has something to do with glowing hubcaps. Better get some scientists on that one.

Advertising industry:

Let’s face it, you guys have had it easy. In the last 50 years, the big innovation in outdoor ads has been vinyl. Well, we’re gonna have to ask you to ramp it up a bit. We need holograms that leap out of the board and attempt to eat people.

Tom Wilson:

Age faster. You’ve packed on a few pounds, but where is the grey hair and poor posture? Do you even need the cane yet? Look into it, that gold fist cane is pretty hot. After 2015, you could dye your hair black and get work as a pimp.

Nike:

When are our shoes gonna start lacing themselves? It’s the 21st century for crying out loud! People need some advanced kicks, right now. The shoe industry hasn’t come out with squat since The Reebok Pump. You had better get your act together by 2010, or we’re putting in calls to Puma and Adidas.

Louisville:

We’re going to need to see some telescopic baseball bats. There’s no apparent sporting advantage, but it makes for a good concealed weapon.

Black & Decker:

Yeah, about this food rehydrator… after a few brief consumer surveys, we’ve decided you do not need to bother with this “innovation.” Since the 80s, there’s been something of a revolution in home cooking. People buy organic, they visit farmer’s markets, and they want things fresh. Rehydrated? No thanks. So, if you’ve started development on this product, stop. If you completely forgot about your futuristic product placement, go ahead and keep it that way. Maybe you could give Mattel a hand with that Hoverboard?

“Fruit, fruit please…”

It’s the simplest product in the movie, so that’s probably why we’re so close to having it. The AeroGarden is a small, futuristic garden you can keep in your kitchen. You’ll always have lettuce on the ready! Of course, in Back to the Future Part II, the thing makes grapes… but hey, we’ve got seven years!

Let’s get crackin’. A few other little items aside, we at Critical Oversight think these small innovations, when achieved, could constitute “Back to the Future Part II Compliance.”

Order the Complete Back to the Future Trilogy on DVD

Tags: BTTF, future, innovations