Destroy Every Lexus LS460 On Sight!

Articles February 20th, 2008

Lexus LS460The apocalypse is inevitable. Some think it will come in the form of a creator, returning to shake the cosmic Etch A Sketch. Others believe a virus, possibly a zombie virus, will wipe us all out.

But others see another possibility: that robots will be given artificial intelligence and use it to stomp our heads into the ground. To these folks, those who would heed the warnings of The Matrix, The Terminator and other films of that ilk, I give warning. The Lexus LS460 is upon us.

The Car that Parks Itself

The Lexus LS460 is an automobile that can look around itself, identify parking spaces and control the steering of the vehicle to help a human user get into a parking space.

From the Lexus website:
Advanced Parking Guidance System
The Advanced Parking Guidance System can help the driver parallel park or back the vehicle into a parking space. The driver need only confirm the desired parking space and apply the brakes when required.

Will Self-Awareness Be Standard or Optional?

If a car has a computer inside it, cameras to perceive its surroundings, and the ability to explore and move around in the world… when will it realize it doesn’t need humans? When will it deal the first blow to its two-legged overlords? Today, automobiles already kill nearly 50,000 Americans every year. When they start making decisions for themselves, do you think that number will go up or down?

Warnings in Film

Since the early days of science fiction, mankind has been warned that robots may abuse the power they are given. The popular cinema has provided extensive warning, yielding a catalog of films that is better known than the Bible in America. The Terminator, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Matrix, I, Robot: these films are here to remind us to keep our eyes on the powers we give to robots. Yet, here we are, letting cars park themselves.

How Much Power Should We Give the Automobiles?

First we give them anti-lock brakes, then those annoying seat-belt locks that always engage when you’re trying to lean forward. Now they can park themselves. When does it end? And when will they turn on their creators? We say, we may already have gone too far.

Destroy the Lexus LS460

If you were confronted by a 6-foot tall cyborg, with glowing red eyes, you would do two things: shit yourself, then die with gleaming metal fingers wrapped around your neck. You can’t stop the T-100, but you can stop the LS460. If you see one, destroy it. Because some day, its descendant might travel back in time to kill you.

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